Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Mr. Chewy on This!!

A couple of weeks ago mom got this email from Mr. Chewy asking if we'd like to try his website, and tell everyone who is awesome enough to read my blog, what I think of his site and more importantly his food!

So mom logged on and ordered a ton of my favorite treats, and some new ones.  As you may know, I'm also on a special diet, but like all diets, I cheat.  So mom didn't want to order my food from Mr. Chewy, but she totally could have.  So the box arrives, and look at how big it is!  Hence that big 'ole grin on my face!!

Enter dad's man knife to open the box....

....and get a look at all that booty!!  Mom said his prices were so cheap, I was able to get more...you read that right MORE TREATS!!!

I got so giddy that I jumped right in the box.  Mom said the selection was huge, so she had lots to choose from.  Duck, Salmon, Turkey....the list goes on and on. 

I was like a pug in a treat shop....and I didn't even have to leave the house...it came right to my door.  All  my favorite brands, and some I've never tried before.  Mr. Chewy had it all. 

Sorry fellow pugs, but these are all mine! 

Hey mom, Mr. Chewy had Stella and Chewy??  I've never had those before.  Mom said only the best for me, and that Mr. Chewy had some of the best food and treats that are out on the market.  But mom how do they taste?

Oh like a dream!  The treats came soft and fresh!  Just how I like them.  The site also has chewies, flea and tick control, and stuff for cats....but we don't have any cats here only pugs.  Mom said she liked that we could return anything we didn't want for up to a year, but I cried blasphemy!  I am totally convinced Mr. Chewy may not even be a man, but is secretly a pug.  So check it out and get your grub on.  Tell him your favorite Hermaphroditic pug sent ya!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Baby Love, My Baby Love

My buddy Frank really liked my baby pic I posted when I shared my gonads with you all.  He suggested a blog of baby pics of me...and nothing gets mom wishing she had gotten me as an adult more, than me being a terror of a pup!  So I won't bore you all the deets, but dad picked me after seeing this pic.  I apparently had "mischief behind those eyes!" his words not mine.  So I'm like 2 weeks here.

6 weeks here...giving my very first stink eye.  Really??  How could you not guess I was going to be trouble!

This is my dad about an hour after the 'rents picked me up.  See that smile on both our faces?  You can see the family resemblance early on.  Please note I was a very svelte 3.3 lbs!  Mom says I poop that much out now on an average day...shesh

Mom got to socializing me right away and we got home we went for our very first walk around the neighborhood.  My damn harness was bigger than I was!  Sure mom...pink?  They had already discovered my tiddlebit at this point BTW!

I ruled the roost from day one.  This is a few hours after I got home.  See that pink toy in the back?  Still have it.  It sleeps in the crate with me.

Can't leave me in the backyard for one second!  I thought "DROP IT!" was my name for the longest time.

Check out my orbs pre surgery!  I could see a full 180 degrees with those bad boys!!!  Mom says I look happy in this pic, so I must have just done something naughty.  Hehe

This was my first Christmas.  My gift to mom was that stink eye for putting that stupid f&# collar on.  It had bells people!  What was she thinking??

I leave you with my moms all time favorite picture of me.  I'm like 3 months old and I'm in my backyard.  She says it shows off my bigger than life attitude.  If you look real close at my eyes, there's a tiny glint of they type of adult pug I was going to be...a shit disturber...yet cute enough to get away with it. 

Friday, January 27, 2012

Paper Bandit

Dad has a baby shower to go to tomorrow and so he asked mom to wrap gifts for the baby.  I thought it would be great if I helped mom.  See mom?  Unlike me, this baby has only one set of bits, and it's a boy.

I couldn't help myself and while mom was wrapping the paper, I just had to take a bite out of it! That's when mom started to swear at me!  Shesh, I get in trouble when I use those words and get censored.

Oh hey, you don't get this back mom, it's all mine.  Screw that kids present you have to wrap.

Evidence of my mass destruction!!

Nom Nom Nom.  I love to chew on paper and it's getting stuck on the roof of my mouth.

Mom totally made me "Drop It!" and took away my prize.  Gosh darn you mom!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hermaphrodites are twice as nice!

This is me!  Born August 27th 2009.  I came to live with my 'rents in October, and they have never been happier!!  So why the recap?  Most of you awesome enough to read my blog know all this right?  Well in celebration getting over 100 followers!!! I thought I'd share my story with you.  I am warning you now there are GRAPHIC PICS TO FOLLOW!!!

I am a hermaphrodite and I'm one feisty bitch!  This is my uterus, looks normal right?  See those long strings and something attached to them?  You'd think it was my ovaries right??

Nope.. those are my balls!  That's right, my balls.  There so pretty you could play basketball with them.  My mom has worked with animals for 17 years and had never seen anything like it.  I just brushed it off like it's no big thing.

Even my vet was super excited.  See that chicken scratch?  Day one he thought I was a pseudo hermaphrodite.  I proved him wrong and I'm a full fledged hermaphrodite.  He suggested mom not keep the name of Bellatrix, and go with a more gender neutral name.  Mom wasn't having it!  Something about having the name picked out for years and I was keeping that name come hell or high water....there may have been more swearing in there....but we're keeping this post PG-13

This is a small picture of what I refer to as my tiddlee bit.  I have this huge rule with the 'rents.  NO PICS OF THE FULL BITS!!  It's nobody's business what junk is in my trunk.  Here is the hint of my womanly/manly treasures.  For you nerdy medical types, mom says I have an OS penis.  As Puglet would say-google it.  So if you have any more questions, I will answer your comments. 

I will leave you with one little saying....Gonads are not all bad and uterus are not for all of us!!

Oh and mom and I are putting together a super awesome give away to celebrate 100 followers...details to follow my peeps.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Spin Cycle

So I posted yesterday that mom taught me this pretty stupid and useless trick....to spin!  What is the point of spinning?  Make dizzy?  Become an ice skater??  I have no idea!!

I do know that I get a crap load of treats for doing it and then I head over to the sofa where I relax and let my stuffed belly just chill out.

I think I'm going to nap now....all that spinning wore me out!

I did notice that I hit 100 followers!! Holy frijoles!!  I am getting on moms case to put together a super awesome give away to celebrate so don't you worry.  It's going to kick major spinning ass!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

It's Wabbit Season

As you all know I'm on some stupid rabbit diet because of my broken belly.  Part of this torture is the lack of treats.  This is unacceptable for a pug of my stature.  Mom even got it in her thick Italian skull to teach me a new trick, so I demanded treats.

Then this arrived today!  Wabbit treats (mom is a total Mouse fan, but couldn't resist the WB refrence).  These are approved by my tummy!!

I got so excited when the UPS guy came that as soon as that bag opened up, I dug right in.  Mom wants to take a minute to honor our Australian friends (Opaka and Kai) and say yes those are fuzzy pink Uggs!  Us USA pugs won't get the joke.

So mom said there are a few more rabbit treats on their way (all doc approved) so I'm sticking to my diet.  As for that new trick?  Mom taught me to spin.  What's the point?  She isn't sure but I look snazzy doing it!  I'll have to post a video soon.

Anyways....what this all boils down to is my taste buds.  The rabbit diet is yummy and puts a smile on my face.  And really isn't that the most important thing for us pugs??

Oh mom also said that we're almost at 100 followers, which will mean a give away when we finally hit it.  So get ready to celebrate real soon!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2012


Mommy and Daddy were acting like silly pug-hoomans when the cranky postman delivered a funny shaped box. I thought it may be delicious chewies, or maybe a toy...But, nopers, it was something different. Something I don't get very excited aboot.

A sweater from Pugnotes?!? They make cool puggie related stuff...but a sweater...for me?!? What was Mommy thinking? Everybody knows I don't like to dress-up.

I have to admit, it looks nifty and totally me...But would I like it?

Well....It does look good, and I got all sorts of loveys from Mums....

Yea for The Belly! I have decided: I like my new sweater!

Please, silly hooman, publish my new found sweater on all the puggie internets sites!

I am The Great Bellatrix! In my cool new sweater, I am all powerful!! Silly Mommy hooman!

But, in the end, I'm just a pug, sittin' in my monkey bed, in new sweater bliss...

TUMMY UPDATE: No pukies! I've been feeling a-o.k. I like my new foods, but miss my treats and chewies. Mommy and Daddy think I won't be on this new food forever...We shall see..Thanks for the good thoughts!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Pug Doctor

Many of you know my stomach has been jacked up lately.  So today was the big day...I was going to this super special doctor that's like a freaking pug guru. 

After a quick molestation, some may call it an exam, she decided that I have a slight case of IBS and that I am reacting to some form of protein.  Since mom likes to buy me all sorts of exotic meat, the only one I haven't tried was rabbit. 

She was really nice and she let me kiss her as much as I wanted.  I liked her, and she was nice an all, however I have mixed feelings.  Nice feeling #1, YUMMY NEW FOOD!!  Not so nice feeling #2 THAT'S ALL I GET!!

Is this new food good?  Hell yeah!!  All this is for me and my belly....

I mean hello?!?!  We're pugs we will eat everything we can, but I really love my treats and chews.  The pug guru said I don't get any of my super yummy extra delicious anymore.  Just this food.  What the freak??

So to make me feel better, mom went out and got me a new "treat owl". 

She doesn't think I realize this, but it's just my dry food hidden in this new container.  I'm just miserable!  I'm already jonezing for a freaking yak chew....or a bully stick!

The worst thing about all this??  I had to watch her pack up all my old treats and chews and put them in a travel bag.  Where are those going?  I have a feeling a certain Pug will be enjoying them!  He better appreciate them!!!

Mom did say the pug guru said that she can bake the wet food and make treats for me.  She's going to research that and then I might get my treats back!  So that's my update.  Thanks for helping me out guys and I'll keep you posted.  And Pug...all these treats will put more back fat on you, so I can't wait to chomp on it!!